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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Steve Czaban on Phil's Collapse - Don't Blame Bones Mackay

First, Steve Czaban - the pulse of the Great American Sportsman does a terrific job analyzing the "Good Angel/Bad Angel" discussion in Phil's head on 18. With Steve's persmission, I'm reprinting with a quick edit or two (sorry, but we're PG-13 here):

Good Angel: You’ve hit like 2 fairways all day. Put the big dog bag in the bag.”

Bad Angel: Yeah, but I’m PHIL! Do you hear these fans! I’ve gotta hit driver! Besides, I think I just figured something out. Baby Carve Slice. I got it...I got it!

DRIVE: Flare, fore left!

Good Angel: Nice going lunkhead. Ready to listen? This is a 9-iron into the fairway. YOU ARE THE BEST WEDGE PLAYER IN THE WORLD. Up and down for win, simple bogey for playoff. I’ve cleared my schedule for tomorrow, so let’s smarten up.

Bad Angel: But I’ve been pulling these shots off all DAY! And everybody is watching me! Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?

SHOT LOW AND LEFT: Smacks trees, kicks down and back.

Good Angel: That's it, Humpty dumpty, I’m outta here. Do whatever you want.

Bad Angel: Whatever. I’ve got this, over the trees, into the bunker, you KNOW I’ll get it up and down.

APPROACH SHOT: In the air, the Golf Gods intervene…

Golf Gods: “There’s no WAY we are letting him get up and down after all this. One fried egg, please...to go.

Now while we're in the subject of recovery shots, if I see Phil and Tiger say this (or do this) "Let's put this ball - from the worst conceivable place on the hole - into the gallery and suddently I get a free drop and an easy up and down, where as if the stands weren't there, they'd be screwed" I'm going to scream. Players are being allowed to hit a ball in the gallery (dangerous to begin with) and get an easy chip form far closer to the pin than they would have been.

The gallery is NOT a bail out option. Instead, it's become a seedy and unseemly crutch. In trouble up to your eye balls? Aim for this huge OTHER green-sized thing and get a nice drop for an easy par. That is not golf.

Finally, for everyone blaming Bones Mackay for not getting Phil to play safe, I just have three words.

STOP IT ALREADY. You are embarrassing yourself. Bones can make all the suggestions he wants or not, it's the player's decision. YOU do not have ANY idea of the rapport between player and caddie regarding what he/she can/cannot do. You think Vijay Singh would tolerate the CADDIE saying, "You know Vij, I know you've got a green jacket and two PGA's, but why don't you lay up?"

You'd be on Brett Wetterich's bag next week. Blaming Bones is for people who talk before they think.


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