Steve Czaban on the LPGA, Tiger Woods Interview (what there was)

The pulse of the American sports fan is alive and well over at Steve Czaban's website, czabe.com. Looking for what sports fans believe in today? Forget focus groups and branding profiles, Czabe is thinking what every red-blooded hard-hitting, hard-farting sweaty, smelly, stinky sports guy knows. ***cue the new "Dial Soap Jingle," complete with tuba riff..."I'm a man...,manly manly man...I'm a man...YES I AM...*** He just says what everybody else in America is thinking. Thank goodness somebody has the nerve. Go read it, I'll wait. Good, wasn't it? For the rest of you too lazy to switch, here's the juice:

First, Czabe had me in stitches with his take on the tradition at the Nabisco where the winner (and often her caddy) take the plunge in the pond on 18.

He writes, "Anyhow, fast forward to this year, where God bless women, they always have an eye on cleanliness and hygiene. Apparently the LPGA gals had been complaining about the yucky, icky, murky, muddy waters that … ewwww.. smelled bad, and wanted to see if anything could be done.

Sure enough, the tournament cemented off a portion of that wrap around hazard, and filled with clear, clean filtered water. That’s where Karrie Webb got wet on Sunday.

Now come on, gals! A little pond water ain’t gonna kill ya, is it? Jerry Pate jumped into a bonafide, you-could-drown-or-get-eaten-by-an-alligator-LAKE when he won at the Players years ago. [He] threw Deane Beman in with him.

Now maybe next year we can just have a bunch of clowns with seltzer bottles come running out and hose down the winner. Would have been a lot cheaper."

I nearly spit up coffee on my laptop.

Then, in one sentence he summarizes why the Tiger Woods interview on CBS 60 minutes...paragon of virtuous television THAT it is...flopped so badly:

"But hey, we did hear about his Foundation, which is great. Not like anybody was wondering: “Hey, do you think Tiger has a foundation?”

We also didn’t see any hard pitches thrown his way. If I had one “brushback” pitch I could throw, it would be this…

“Tiger. You swear a lot on course, and you know you are on camera. You also slam clubs and sometimes damage greens. Are you embarrassed at all by your temper, and are you working on fixing it?”

Of course, such a question would probably have killed CBS’s right to air the piece, and denied Ed Bradley all future rights to “fist-bump” Eldrick."

I wonder what Peter Kostis would have thought?

Do we NEED to wonder what Dan Hicks would have thought? Problably something droning and delivered in his nasal, yet strangely hypnotic piercing tenor, while the horns of the NBC golf theme wail in the background..."That was a courageous and invigorating exploration in to Tiger's psyche...Jungian in it's complexity..."

The Force is with you Czabe. Go, Go, Go!